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KC Davis这个用肌肉/运动来类比神经/情绪系统的解释很有意思：comfort zone (green zone)里做什么都很轻松，在learning zone (yellow zone)里肌肉有一些challenge/workout，得到锻炼进而增强，但超过了一定限度后就会受伤(red zone)；神经系统和情绪/情感也是类似，learning zone里的stress和challenge可以带来足够的刺激，在自身coping skill范围内的discomfort激发了新的感知探索和潜在的成长可能性，然而超出了范围非但不能成长还会有伤害。所谓“成长”就是coping skill肌肉变强的过程(e.g.暴露疗法之所以有效不是因为暴露，而是有教会新的coping skill并在安全的暴露环境里去练习)。

感觉这个是所谓“挫折教育”和“苦难财富”narrative有意忽略的(以及省略五百字关于权力关系的讨论，是否“在范围内”这一点虽然当事人自身未必一定是最清楚的，但必须有最终决定权)。

另外，顺着这个类比再继续展开，在精神/情绪上的常常见到的各种对自身有伤害的coping system，大概也类似运动不得法/姿势不对导致的错误肌肉/关节代偿：still effective but with a (too) high cost。

她在播客结尾这段关于什么是coping skill的话我觉得说得很好：
"I want to make it clear that going into fight flight or freeze on is not always avoidable. It's not always just because you didn't have good enough coping skills. There are certain things in this world that are going to trip your nervous system into this extreme state, it does not mean that you're not healthy enough or mature enough, or if you just had better coping skills. There are just certain things that are traumatic. There's no amount of coping skills that can prevent you from going to that place. When that happens, the coping skills are about learning how to get out of that place and back to safety. And ideally, yes, we want coping skills that can help us kind of circle the wagons back around before we get there. And we want a good wide window of tolerance so that we can enjoy everything the world has to offer, and not be in as much pain."

Struggle Care | Just Cope
https://www.strugglecare.com/podcast-rss/53-just-cope

喜欢这种有落地窗和浅色木头桌椅的小面包店，没有很多精致的糕点，但是有嚼劲筋道香香甜甜的果仁小面包。让我想到无数个在上早课之前匆忙买早餐的清晨，天气好的时候会看到整条街道的地砖在倾斜的阳光下发亮，耳边浮现一天当中第一缕白噪音，像是许多交响乐开头颤音弱起的管弦。会想要珍惜当下照常运转的一切，觉得生活理应令人心安，心中泛起一阵清爽的说不清来由的希望。