读过《Half of a Yellow Sun》
https://neodb.social/books/97073/
为啥…我感觉这就是一特普通的,一个家境原本特别好的家庭因为战争分崩离析的故事…对战争和贫困的描写也很浅显没有实感,仿佛就是一些理想家坐在家里期盼着战争打赢,顺便乱搞一些男女关系…
“He just drinks and drinks cheap kai-kai. The few times they pay him, the money goes quickly. I think he slept with Alice, that Asaba woman in our yard. I can't stand him. I can't stand him close to me.”
“Good,” Kainene said.
“Good?”
“Yes, good. There's something very lazy about the way you have loved him blindly for so long without ever criticizing him. You've never even accepted that the man is ugly,” Kainene said. There was a small smile on her face and then she was laughing, and Olanna could not help but laugh too, because it was not what she had wanted to hear and because hearing it had made her feel better.
“And he could not even do. He would jump on top of me, moan oh-oh-oh like a goat, and that was it.” She raised her finger. “With something this small. And afterward he would smile happily without ever wondering if I had known when he started and stopped. Men! Men are hopeless!“
这本书里的性描写超好笑
“When I lost my whole family, every single one, it was as if I had been born all over again, I was a new person because I no longer had family to remind me of what I had been.“
对于是否要对朋友进行自杀干预。叠一下,如果你感觉这个标题会让你不舒适就不要看了。
实际上我对这个问题一直有挣扎。我当然理解,自杀干预可能会导致对方继续面对自身生活的困境,或者遭受不理解或者有恶意的社会大环境谴责。
但我在大部分时候说不出“尊重想死的人的意愿吧”这种话。因为我被朋友救过。
我2020年中旬陷入了极其严重的抑郁发作,觉得自己一无是处,这辈子也不会再有任何机会,也有过想要把自杀付诸实践的念头。
那个时候有四五位朋友为我提供了非常强力的情绪支持,基本上倾听了每一句我发疯一般的自我攻击,没有表现出不耐烦和厌恶。其中一位说,美好的事物不会放弃我。如果我离开,那么所有人心里都会存有一个持续的空洞,不是能被其他东西填得满的,对我的想念会一直从其中流失。
我被她们留下来了。我舍弃了不适合自己的工作岗位。我开始画画,想要画出可以撼动世人的、原本已经在我心里只是碍于技法限制暂时无法面世的作品。
偿还这些想念,成为了我阻止他人离开的原因。
最近看sns也看到那句话,中国人忍了一辈子,最后忍不了了从楼上跳下来也以为自己是自杀。
有多少自杀是真正的自杀呢。如果移除掉这些妨碍人生命自由成长、妨碍人看到和做出其他选择的因素,有多少人会真心厌恶自己的生命,或者觉得死亡是永恒的休息?
而这些因素甚至不会给离开的人一个哀悼,一句抱歉。
综上所述如果有人想离开,我还是会拦。我不会去报警,我也不希望一个人在重重困境下在已经觉得自己没有选择的时候还要处理更多来自社会环境的烂摊子。
但我希望每个实际上是差点病死或者差点被害死的人,都能再度拥有选择。
我越来越不喜欢论证我行为的原因了。因为我阐述自己为什么要这样做已经阐述得太多了。这个世界上确实有那种头脑一热自以为出于善意就去干涉别人的生活的人,但我已经阐述得太多了,我想看看自己的直觉、愿望和感受,然后直接就那么做。
……请你,在离开之前,可以先稍微休息一下吗?只是一下也可以。
因为这一切不是你的错。