也是一只自由泳的小鸟
in these classes that I was told that a minority of the human population being gay was potentially adaptive for ancestral tribes because these individuals could help support the overall community without spending energy on their own children. [...] like women who have passed menopause or people who could never bear children. [...] I have come to think of such ideas as deeply problematic, and at least partially incorrect. This is because it seems so obvious that these evolutionary arguments center heterosexuality.
Monk and her colleagues propose a shift from asking “Why engage in homosexual behavior?” to “Why not?”.
[…]
Instead of searching for evolutionary reasons to justify the existence of homosexual behavior, we should be looking to justify the existence of exclusively heterosexual behavior.
说得好
我惊讶地意识到，从至少十年前起，我对我的每一任男友都透露过我对女孩子有兴趣，但是我从来没有考虑过自己会不会是双性恋，直到近两年前。。可能之前完全没有听说过这个概念。虽然现在本人对 identity 也不是很感冒。
很感激这本书的一点就是指出了 identity 和 behaviour 的区别，并不是要有双性恋爱经历/性行为才能称为是双性恋的，也不是说你过去谈的对象十个里有三个同性七个异性就说明你有 30% 的同性倾向的，因为这个比例很可能就取决于你目前为止遇到了什么人而已。经历十几年几乎全男环境的我潸然泪下。
I think that the most important thing anyone should understand about bisexual women is that it’s not just bisexual in terms of what you like, it’s also bisexual in terms of who you are. Sometimes I feel like a boy, sometimes I feel like a girl. And I can’t describe it any more than that. Sometimes I feel really macho and sometimes I feel as feminine as Scarlett O’Hara. You know, it just changes from day to day and maybe it’s partly a mood swing can affect it, but honestly, like, I mean sometimes I’ll be dressed in combat fatigues, the next day I’ll be wearing like a mini-dress and high heels.
这完全是我！有时候穿得像个 girl，有时候穿得像个 boy，有时候在 lo 裙外面套很酷的夹克！
但是这个描述会不会有点太像 non-binary 了？难道这两个重合比较大？
No matter what your sexual identity, you can be promiscuous or unfaithful or never want to settle down with only one person . . . or you can be sexually conservative or faithful or want to be married with a white picket fence. The difference, however, is that as a bisexual person you are constantly asked why. Why do you want these things? Why do you have sex with the people you do? How can you know this is what you really want? Are you sure? How can you be sure? What if you change your mind?
I dream of a world where people stop asking bisexual people these questions, and instead ask themselves these questions.
@unagi 其实很好理解，难道异性恋没谈过恋爱就是无性恋、泛性恋/全性恋必须把所有性别全谈一遍才能证明自己是么……但是到双性恋这里，大家就选择性无视了这么简单的道理。（类似的还有谈过男性的les被纯血女同骂是bi出来祸害人的）
@Barbela 但是这么简单的道理如果没有人指出来的话好像真的意识不到诶…可能我当年对所谓的好感有质疑，不确定是否和谈恋爱是同等强烈的好感。不过我主要的疑惑点是我跟男友坦白的时间竟然还早于我向自己坦白的时间…
@unagi 摸摸，都是这个单性恋霸权的社会的错。几乎所有bi+人都要经历这个过程，曾经坚信自己只是在同性恋和异性恋之间反复横跳的bi+人我认识的就有好几个……
可能是潜意识里觉得需要对伴侣坦诚，或者只是需要找个亲密的人倾诉来梳理自己的认知之类的吧
@butterfly Bi: The Hidden Culture, History, and Science of Bisexuality, by Julia Shaw https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58667392
@unagi 这听起来更像是流动性别吧，甚至细细品味起来还可能跟激素波动周期关系很大
@Eris_liberty 对哦！说不定也是激素！
@unagi 我自己感觉是跟激素关系很大
@unagi 其實基本等同於pansexuality, 不過bi 更有年頭，很多人習慣用bi（也有不想因為說pan 被開玩笑
@XiX 但是我在这里的疑问主要是 heterosexual 可以被解释成喜欢（多种）异性的人吗？大众认知里的 heterosexual 应该是 monosexual 来着
如果把 bi 解释成包含 hetero（another）和 homo（same）的话，那 heterosexual 不就是会被各种不同性别的人吸引的人？那这个范围比我们平时认知的异性恋要广很多了。。